I think I'm starting to get it

Two weeks ago (2 days after my mental/emotional break down) my husband Jay and I went to six flags for the day.  When planning this trip Jay suggested we get season passes since upgrading a 1 day ticket to a season pass wasn't that expensive.  So we decided we would go to six flags more than once this summer and got the season pass.  Six flags was so much fun!  It was a great boost for me, to be able to ride all of the rides and feel comfortable on them.  It's been a long time since I've comfortably fit on a roller coaster.  It felt so wonderful to not be worried about the seat belts fitting and not have to think about leaving the ride because I didn't fit in the seat.

But the major break through of the day came at dinner.  Jay and I went to Outback and while we were waiting for our food I started to compare the picture on my season pass with the picture on my license.  I could not believe the difference.  First, I always liked the picture on my license.  I thought it was a pretty good picture of myself and that I didn't look too fat.  But the more I looked at the two pictures the more I felt like my eyes were playing trick on me.  I couldn't believe the difference...is that really the same person in both pictures?  I showed Jay the ids and said "I think I'm starting to get it."

They say that when you lose a large amount of weight it takes a while for your mental image of yourself to catch up with the physical image everyone else sees.  This has been very true for me.  Although everyone I see has been telling me how great I look and that I look like a different person, I never saw it.  When I looked in the mirror I still saw the old me.  I still saw the flaws.  I didn't see the progress.  I knew it was happening but I didn't see it.  Until I looked at these pictures.  Now I see it.  Something about looking at those pictures side by side made me get it.  I don't look like the same person, just like I don't feel like the same person.

And as for the breakdown I wrote about in my last post...it passed.  I've been on the emotional side lately and just had a bad day.  And I did lost that 1 pound and more, and I have surpassed the 100lb mark.  As of 7/7 I've lost 101 pounds.  And I am very, very proud of myself.